IF YOU ONLY EVER READ ONE OF OUR POSTS, PLEASE READ THIS ONE!!!

We have witnessed and experienced many awe-inspiring things on this trip so far. Nothing, however, even comes close to the AMAZING MIRACLE we were fortunate to encounter named Mya and the strength of her family. Mya, the nine-year-old daughter of friends of ours who live in Kansas, was in a car accident on February 24th of this year and spent the next several months in a coma. NINE YEARS OLD. SEVERAL MONTHS IN A COMA!!! A parent cannot help but to hear such a story and think how easily it could be their own child. We followed her progress for months with baited breath, unable to understand how impacted we would be by something happening so far away - an article on her development at the time can be found at http://louisburgsportszone.com/2015/04/community-rallies-together-for-jimmy-and-mya/ We knew that we had to go to Kansas with the Natterbus, if they would have us. By the end of the first week of our trip we arrived at their house.

Our friend Spencer was standing in the road flagging us down. We knew Spencer from wayyyyyyyy back and will always have a soft spot in our hearts for this hip-hop loving son of a preacher man. His new wife, her daughter Mya and their two sons we had never met, though we felt as if we knew them already from contact on the phone and Internet.

We had no idea what we would find when we arrived, for we hadn't asked when making travel plans with them. It didn't matter to us what state Mya was in, only that we would have a brief chance to engage with them all. Our last information had been that she was slowly waking from her coma and being released from the hospital for the next part of her recovery.

To walk into the room and see her sitting up, smiling, waving at us and then walking absolutely blew me away. I became very emotional during my time with them, bursting into tears as subtly and off to myself as possible so as not to scare anyone! I felt I had no right to be so dramatic over something that "doesn't affect me directly", and, yet, the emotion and awe-inspiring feeling of it all was so overwhelming. To her parents I am sure the miracle is less contrasting since they have the benefit and deficit of a past with her and a hope for the future - there must be thoughts of how she used to do this or will she ever do that, not to mention the logistics of support. We, however, have never met her before and have the luxury of living in her present miracle in all of it's rich fullness.

And as for the the kids, they ignored it all and had an awesome time together! Our eldest, who is one of the most sensitive people I've met on the planet, immediately had an understanding of the situation and how she might feel in that same position - from the moment she heard of the story to the second she met Mya. She has had other friends in the past who were differently-abled than her (and hung out with many elderly as well) and so this didn't matter much to her, though I am sure she wishes she could have had more full on conversations with Mya. To watch them interact, however, was a thing of real beauty. Just in the time we were with them Mya played on the playground - sliding down the slide for the first time since the accident - got in the swimming pool (splashing her mother with water), and drove a kid-sized electric car (both forwards AND backwards all on her own!!!).

(This is Mya going down the slide in her backyard for the first time since the accident!) Equally inspiring, however, is the strength and perseverance of her family and support network - most specifically her parents, but also rippling out from there. I will forever remember that when my days seem difficult juggling three kids, they are NOTHING compared to having two boys under five to chase after while staying by Mya's side 24/7 to assist with bathroom, swallowing, walking, eating issues. I marveled at how well they passed duties back and forth between them seemlessly. Sports players receive all the glory when they work in sync on the field, parents rarely do! This is by no means an easy task since they also are required to fulfill the mundane necessities of life, such as making money, eating, and going to the bathroom, among other things. And forget about date nights or me time!!!!

Currently, the update is that Mya is still making strides and has been accepted into the Madonna Rehab Institute in Lincoln, NE. A GOFUNDME fundraising campaign (found at http://www.gofundme.com/nh19g0 ) was set-up a while back by a friend of theirs (since they are too modest to ask for money, but DEFINITELY need it for health aids and gas money and since working is not possible for both of them at the same time any longer and all the other bills that continue to rack up) so pleeeeease consider contributing to them!!!!! This is a real story of real people living inspirational lives. And if not, please just keep them in your hearts, your prayers, or whatever feels right to you. We thank them for sharing their lives with us and cannot wait to watch them all grow and blossom as a family!

Keep On Keepin' On

Well, it definitely got a bit worse before it got better! I realized that the kids had adapted this vacation attitude and that all normal life was thrown to the wayside because this is one big vacation. While that may seem true because we are in so many amazing places, there are still chores to be done, routines to be followed, etc. They also realized that, in an effort to keep them calm and not too noisy around our sometimes precarious neighbor situation, I caved a lot sooner to demands than I normally would. It is certainly tricky parked so closely to other trailers or, worse, imposing on family and/or friends on their street curb and trying not to upset their neighbors. When I realized that I had been doing this I had to put my foot down forcefully for a few days and just deal with the whining/screaming/complaints without caving. It wasn't pretty, but, as a result, the toilet is a LOT cleaner (consequence of poor behavior), the boundaries are a bit firmer and we are getting along a bit better.

It also helps that we are taking some much needed respite in Canada for more than a week as we prepare for the return trip (we do miss home terribly and need to maintain our excitement so the ride and the present moment stay with us). We have not moved the bus in MANY days, have been pampered by "Oma" and "Opa", slept, read stories aloud,

face-painting and music at the open market, played on the playground (and even sent to the playground on their OWN for some autonomy),

beach time, quite a bit of work (both work repairing the bus and actual work) and I have even found myself lounging by the pool a few times! With a BOOK, nonetheless! (I actually feel quite guilty about this and have to remind myself that it is much needed and deserved).

Yes, and there was also a game-changing DATE NIGHT, believe it or not! We snuck out to see the movie VACATION, just to see how similar it is to us (not very, actually, but quite hilarious. We did NOT go to the four corners!). Of course, we paid the price for having the kids out way too late AGAIN (when will we learn?), but the time together belly-laughing, sneaking fro-yo, and watching the sunset over the city was well worth it!

We are very lucky to have so many beautiful people to connect with on this journey. While the Canadians are so friendly overall and we've had some great conversations with some people here, most seem non-plussed by the bus. Maybe this is because they have things like this around here:

A tour bus carrying 24 German and Austrian passengers complete with fold-out kitchen and cots! This vehicle was BA!!! And the crazy part is they were doing a circle similar to what we are doing, but in 22 DAYS!!!!! And I thought our schedule was nuts :)

And there are all kinds of crazy vehicles out here...converted vans, tricked-out cars, Deluxe semis, a tiny home on wheels here, there is even this GIGANTIC Motorhouse with a slide out BALCONY and BIG SCREEN TV!!!! CRAZY! But whether we are not impressive or just hidden in our long-term spot we are down to about one tour a day and the quiet is welcome for a bit :)

One disconcerting thought on my mind as we travel are the amounts of people I see on this coast that are tied to drug abuse. It has lead me into this internal discourse about thrill seeking and what it means. And I feel like it isn't limited to drug abuse or alcohol abuse or anything. It goes way deeper into the apathy and disdain I see from people walking down the street not wishing to be altered from their goal of a bus, cup of Starbucks, spot in line, etc. at the expense of connecting with another human being. It seems to weigh heavily on me lately, especially in terms of what it could mean for my own children. I do not believe it matters who you are or what type of family you come from. And the only thing I've come to in order to prepare my own children to get over this issue of satisfying the desires of "ME, ME, ME" is to contemplate desire, to never be afraid of boredom, never be afraid to sit with themselves and who they are and/or to never run from their problems. I don't know any other way to prepare them for this than meditation. I'll take any advice or anecdotes you care to offer. I guess an odd contemplation from someone avoiding the 9 to 5 lifestyle and driving around the country. But then again, maybe not :)

Lastly, I just want to reflect on how quickly a moment of disapproval or doubt from someone not feeling that we are doing "the right thing" can drain one (me specifically) of all the love and inspiration we have garnered on this bus - the only way I can describe it is like that children's story about "filling my bucket". And then for a few days I let my awful mood color everything and everyone around me. Luckily, it took just the next person stepping onto the bus talking about how happy seeing the bus made them feel to refill that bucket and from here on out I will guard that bucket a bit more closely! Thanks for all the love and positive energy we've been getting from all of you on this journey with us! I hope you've been receiving it back two-fold and we look forward to the next crazy leg of it all :) Keep calm and VonRowdy on!

Still Our Life

Here’s the bad news (to anyone out there who thinks we have got it made)…this is still our life. OK, I was clear about this going into it. I knew that this wouldn’t be an escape from our issues or problems. We had several sessions as a couple and with the kids about what our expectations for this trip were and if they were realistic (my son expected it to involve lots of toys). I even talked often about how this was not a vacation. It was a different way of living. That we would just have a different backyard each day, but should not expect constant entertainment and fun. Somewhere along the way this idea was stomped on…by me.

Sure it sounds good - just taking this opportunity to duck into this museum or walk down that beach since you’re already here/nearby/just an hour away. But when you are driving up the coast or are near a really cool national park - and you KNOW you should put the kids to bed instead of letting them out…or when they are with their cousins they haven’t seen in forever or buddies they may not see for a long time (or EVER), you start to make all these exceptions. And the exceptions pile up. Because now you are in the next town, the next city, the next park, the next friends’ house. Then it’s no wonder when the word “no” about something simple comes out of your mouth and you are facing a major tantrum again and again - in the bus when they can’t have the seat they want, in the woods when only one got the ranger badge, at Paul Bunyan when climbing up the socks wasn’t allowed. The tired buzzing and confused spinning in their heads makes rationality impossible. The need to feel in control rears its head.

And we are ALWAYS in public. The down side of such an amazing and beautiful bus is that it doesn’t blend well. So while people are photographing the bus, you are dragging a kicking and screaming exhausted child into it - on camera. Instead of ignoring the tantrum to undermine it’s power, there is always someone nearby listening - or the concern you could get kicked out for being too noisy. So this adds stress. And when we lose our temper and are tired and frustrated and yell back, there is judgement. There is always judgement - whether there is anyone to hear it or not. We are our biggest critics.

As a family, we move on. Figuratively and physically. The bus moves, apologies are made, hugs given, and plans restructured. Did I expect it to be like this? Yes and no. My kids are moody, sometimes anxiety driven and tough. It is what will get them through the harder parts of life (the toughness, not so much the anxiety), but is really hard to navigate now. Did I hope they would be so engaged that some of this would slide away? Most definitely I did. And to some degree it did. In the beginning of the trip there was an attitude of excitement, camaradery, positive communication. Now, not so much. To what do I attribute the downslide…the pace mostly. It’s hard to plan a trip like this when you really have no concept of how the vehicle you are in will move - not to mention the children. We have never done this as a group before and are all learning as we go. (My youngest, for example, has now learned how to reach for things with her toes while in a carseat!)

If I were to do this same route again I would spread it out over one entire year - that way allowing time to settle and regroup and do laundry and housework and let them nearly exhaust their revelations before moving on. Also, there certainly needs to be more routine to it. I knew this going in but hadn't understood what the pace would be like enough to see the routine would get buried. My eldest (wise beyond her years) said she missed our old house because when she woke in the morning she knew what she should do. Since then I have gathered them each morning and explained the day as I see it. While occasionally this traps me with my totally literal middle child who expects it to be exactly as said without adjustment (BUT YOU SAID!!!), mostly it has taken away one layer of anxiety.

Here’s the good news…this is still our life. And what a blessed life it is. Every day a handful of strangers knock on our door and sing songs of admiration for our creation and our adventure. Every single day. What a blessing. Our kids actually hear people (other than me) tell them again and again how lucky they are and how amazing it is. To pay homage to this phenomenon we stop what we are doing and speak at length with them, answering any questions they may have. Though this always derails our schedule it has become very important. I feel it is giving back to the life this bus has created for us and the excitement for others. Natterbus touches so many people in ways I cannot understand or would have ever conceived - there is no doubt about this.

While Natterbus doesn’t take away our issues, it certainly highlights them in a way that forces us to deal with them. I have heard my children spill some really honest fears that I never knew they had. And my previous ennui when it came to my husband's passion and conversation topic of choice has been eliminated now that I too can speak his language of surf! While learning about ourselves and our relationships doesn’t always feel comfortable, it certainly keeps us tied together. And one wonderful friend we stayed with recently remarked when things were a bit rocky (and I'm paraphrasing),"Playdates are nice and all, but when you spend real time with a family and see their highs and lows it make you feel normal about your own highs and lows." That is certainly a gift we can give again and again :)

And, honestly, when I’m just absolutely done with the thousandth time I’ve been asked why we can’t buy a souvenir or totally over the tantrums, picking my head up and catching a glimpse of the ocean, the redwoods, the Rockies, the moon on the desert, or whatever it happens to be always helps me remember to take a breath.

Where Do You Live?

One of the goals of this trip was to show our kids (and ourselves) how other people live. To show them that there are thousands, millions, billions of different ways you can live your life and to not assume life is just what you see around you or what others tell you it should be. Lately, this concept has become exceptionally evident to me as we go through different terrains and varying states of weather/climate. This is especially true as I sit and watch a hummingbird sip from a delicate flower with a gentle ocean breeze blowing across me as I lounge surrounded by greenery contemplating our recent time in the desert heat and the endless dirt-coated afternoons seeking only cool liquids and escape from the deadly stare of the sun. I feel guilty, somehow. To have escaped. Or lucky. And I consider all the places we have been.

The calm seas of green and brown nothingness across the midwest that seemed to stretched forever (in fact, my son repeatedly said "...but we've already passed this!". How easy it is to become impatient with it.

The flooded areas we drove through, escaped (in St. Louis), saw or heard about.

The storm we drove through in the Petrified Forest of Arizona - where the next morning the kids reported seeing a tree on the playground that had come down from the winds.

The heat. The heat. The HEAT! The rocks, the sand, the dirt. The desert. And I think of the hardships that people go through to live in these places. Why do they do it? I am loving visiting all of these new and strange places...but could I actually LIVE here?!? ARE THEY CRAZY?!?! The cynic in me wonders...is it that some places in this country are lush and green and people with money can afford to live there and the rest of the people get whatever is left over?!?!? And then I realize that it is not this simple. That people are different - some like the heat, and some like the cold. Many of the people I have met in these places would think living through a NY winter the insane choice! Some people need mountains, or open space, or water to feel comfortable. Some people have no fear of rattle snakes, droughts, earthquakes, volcanos, tarantulas, scorpions, tornados, hurricanes, or even black widow spiders (yikes!!!). I'm sure money ALWAYS comes into play when dealing with prime property vs. less than desirable living conditions. But, in the end, we all want to live happy lives...the way we each feel comfortable and see fit whatever that may be. And while it may not look exactly the same, maybe in our hearts it feels the same. We all make sacrifices to live wherever we do...I guess it is just a matter of what we can live with and what we know. I dunno...I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. What do you live with/can't stand to live without? Where is your "normal" and where do you cross the lines of convention?

And what can we as a family live with and what can't we live with? I think we are still figuring that out. Maybe we'll let you know at the end of this trip! :)

Compassion on the Road - Part Deux

I've always been interested in the sadhus and monks and such who take an oath of poverty and must constantly walk around asking for food/assistance. This simultaneously interests and terrifies me. I often think I will do this to overcome my issues and see what it is like, but with children it is not something people consider responsible :) Believe it or not, I am also a bit of an introvert. This is something that astounds people when I say it, but I often avoid being social. It seems to overwhelm me sometimes. In this venture, however, we are constantly "out there". We are either sticking out like a sore thumb and people stop to chat about the bus or we are in a pickle and forced to reach out to people for assistance. And I have enjoyed every conversation and every interaction. The kindness of people is so reaffirming in a world where fear is the go to response for strangers.

This family opened their hearts and homes to us, giving us room to, not only stay, bathe an play, but to comfortably exist as ourselves. We wished we had more time with them!

Buck at the KOA in Colorado drove these crazy kids around as many times as they wanted, with a smile and a tip of his hat.

Ashland at the Rock Climbing gym took these two up each wall and had them ringing bells they nevevr knew they could. It was part climbing lesson, part therapy session and she handled them both with ease.

Dave in Taos helped escort the kids and I back to the bus when we didn't know where it had relocated. He was full of helpful info and had a kind smile I felt I'd known forever. Beverly in Santa Fe, who was visiting her son just released from prison, gave me her unused drying time on her laundromat dryer. We chatted about loving your children, no matter what their life is about, and what it is like being a mom. Ernest, who has 5 dogs at home and is trying to downsize, swam with us and introduced us to Brutus and Lucy. (While I fell in love with Brutus, I did decide the bus was too small for a new dog!) He shared his heart and his thoughts with us and it was a pleasure.

Marla and Chazzy stopped for a bus tour (we actually give about two a day just from people stopping wherever we are to ask about the bus). We connected on so many topics and wished we knew her the night we were in the hospital with Phoenix.

And then there are all the people who help us when we have questions/problems with the bus. Raul at the Santa Fe Public Schools bus garage, Ernest at Clark and Son's garage in Santa Fe, Dan and Paul at Auto Safe House in Holbrook, AZ, our dial-a-clue technicians Marty Flansberg and Zach VanArnum. Without their kindnesses - taking time out of their schedule to answer our questions and try and solve our problems - we wouldn't be able to continue this trip. Just today while we were hanging out killing time on the 4th until things open up Monday and we can get the bus looked at, three people (Cindy, Laurel and Rick) separately dropped by the bus to say "Hi" and offered us mechanics, showers and stories. I truly love the stories. This bus is many things to many people, not even all positive things, but to me it is connection - with my husband, my kids, myself, nature and all who encounter it. And, it is simply magic. Whether it runs or not ;)

See you on the trip side! S.

The Trip gets Rocky!

So I feel the need to reassure you all that we don't have this absolutely sun-shiny life without bumps or bruises along the way. I value the Internet for leaning into the positive side of things and spreading inspiration, but I also am really mistrustful when it turns into a desperate effort to paint our lives as perfect and rosy. SO, I am sharing some of the trials and tribulations as well.

THE KIDS. The kids definitely have their breakdowns. Let's face it...this is CRAZY!!! They are unsure where they are going to be at any given time and are almost constantly on the move. Somehow in the bus it has become easier to watch their swings...maybe not always to anticipate them, but at least to be more understanding about them then when we are embroiled in our other daily life "business". For the most part, they are eating this up with a spoon. There is enough constant activity to keep them challenged at all times...and this isn't waterpark activity. Yesterday they re-enacted a favorite children's story called "Roxaboxen" by building a fake town out of rocks in a Lowe's parking lot (hence the crushed finger!). Today my son was soooooo amazed by the lint that came out of the laundromat dryer he begged for 25 minutes to let him keep it and, when the answer was an unswerving "no", he performed several experiments on it before he threw it away. So while they are certainly tired many days, carsick some and homesick frequently and definitely overstimulated, I believe what they are taking away from all of this is HUGE.

THE BUS. The bus is doing EXTREMELY well for going so many miles already. She is a champ and rarely complains, even about her broken front window (hopefully to be fixed in Cali) and the hatch we let fly off (fixed by JR). However, these mountains have not been kind to her and, though we are trying to avoid them, my map reading skills are faltering with the distraction of kids (which I take very personally). SO, we have gone a few routes I may have avoided if I had realized a time ago that my atlas is in no way a relief map! This has put lots of stress on my poor driving husband and, while he has done very well trying to keep calm there have certainly been some hairy moments (dark, steep, hairpin, elk-cluttered roads) that will inform the future of this trip (and all future trips ever known to this family). I am proud to say that he is an AMAZING driver of such a rig and can probably go toe to toe with almost any teamster at this point (a challenge I should probably not lay down - knowing so many excellent teamsters as we do!).

AND US. Well, we are ALWAYS terrible at taking needed time together until we get edgy with one another - and being in a bus doesn't make that a ton easier. So emotional hygiene routines are a MUST (I'll let you know when we've figured that out!). You see your issues with each other so much quicker in a space like this. BUT, it gives us a lot of clarity around things too. How we communicate about things and where our gaps are. While we have begun to travel a bit away from "brand new, fun and exciting" and towards "whoa, slow up a bit and regroup" we are finding stress where we would have laughed it off earlier. So today we had a mandatory down day. It worked like a charm and luckily we have enough flexibility in our schedule (see Podcast 2!!) to allow for this. And our sanity DEMANDS this. Laying on the bed being attacked by three kids wearing swim masks and goggles while rain pounded the roof and thunder boomed, I stopped the roller-coaster for just a second. I took stock in everything around me and held space for the thought that no matter how stressful I make it, we really are living a dream. A dream I am grateful for and, hopefully, blessed to share with all in our path.

No matter how crazy things get in your life, keep calm and VonRowdy on! ")