What a wild ride it has been…even beyond the bus until now! I just had the good fortune of having four days off for self-reflection and I made some notes about the bus trip. Someone there mentioned Facebook (and blogs to some degree) to be self-advertising - which I don’t disagree with - so I try to be aware of this constantly when I post and give as many ups as I do downs. I’m trying less to paint us and more to take you with us, if at all possible. In any case, my thoughts:
1. We started out just BUILDING A BUS…to see if we could do it with less of an idea about where it would take us. If it would even, in fact, take us anywhere. And it sure did. Wow…that happened. It is totally hard to believe.
2. We also wanted to investigate the road to see if full-time “ROAD-SCHOOLING” is or could be a reality for us. While this is still an option, the schedule would have to be very specifically worked out. This trip, with a desire to catch up with so many loved ones we haven’t seen in many years, took on a MONSTROUS life of its own and an actual road-school schedule would have to be slowed waayyyyyyyyy down so as not to drive us or the kids as crazy. And to enjoy the places we visit more fully more as “temporary locals” and less as tourists. Further, while this worked really well educationally for them now at their ages, I would like to do it when they are a bit older, can enjoy the richness of the experience more, and are no longer in carseats!!!
3. The NATTERBUS truly has a life of it’s own and we need to honor and move with it (no pun intended). What does that mean? It means that everywhere we went this bus spoke to people in a way we never imagined and by being flexible (to a point) with our time, attention and our route we were able to connect up with really amazing people and ideas. Something about the bus - the adventure, the reckless abandon, the dream of seeing the world, nostalgia for family trips, bucking routine, the education, the wilderness, the acid-flashback paint job!!!! - whatever it is struck a chord in people very deeply.
4. Everyone loves to DREAM BIG (just look at Powerball ticket sales!). Well, everyone except for those who don’t allow themselves to and are afraid of it. Often these people, as a result, are bitter when others dream and even more bitter when dreamers succeed - waiting for the right moment to criticize and pounce when there is failure. But, if you don’t set out to prove anything…just to DO something, ANYTHING and see where it takes you, how can you be proven wrong? For even at that point, a failure is a lesson and, thus, a success. Plus, even MORE people love to see a big dream REALIZED to give them hope, courage, inspiration.
5. People want to feel PART OF SOMETHING bigger than themselves. Period.
6. My LAUGHABLE naiveté about what a big, open-spaced land this is with millions of places to “BOONDOCK” (simply park off the road free someplace to enjoy the land) has been squashed. What am I, a damned HIPPIE?!?!? Pretty much everywhere in this country has been bought and packaged and even the public land is rarely just “open to the public”. There are rules and fees and bookings and guidelines and loopholes that other full-timers and scammers committed to memory long ago and are twenty steps ahead of you. We are definitely the land of the “nothing is for free”, not that I expected that much, but all these fairytale notions of “Land Management” and the US being much more wide open and available than here in NY have gone out the window. Having said all that, there are some great opportunities in this country that involve camping coops for full-timers and even some Walmart parking lots (except on the West coast where they sold their parking lots to avoid dealing with vagrants) and Cabela’s parking lots.
7. Now, granted, one reason this lala-land image of mine was dashed is that, with three tinies in tow, you start to think a whole lot more about SAFETY than when the two of you pulled over and whipped out a tent someplace. Did we have any real security breaches/issues on this trip? No, thank heavens. But we also tried to make smart choices. Sometimes you can get away with parking off on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere (particularly when broken down!), sometimes you stay at a Walmart parking lot if it feels right, and sometimes you keep driving until you find a campground with a spot you know you paid for and a community of eyes watching each others’ backs. And sometimes the biggest troublemakers are when you are parked next to the sidewalk in an affluent neighborhood and the drunken teens come to call! Safety was hands down the biggest factor in whether I was tense or not on the trip and was a real lesson. You certainly get used to it as you go - especially in a steel bus locked tighter than a drum - but for me it took at least a week or two on the road, sleeping in unknown places, before I could fully relax if my kids were sleeping more than an arms length away (which, believe it or not, they were). And even then I am a totally light sleeper (I hear my kids fart) and that helped me know that I’d be up before the first eyelash of an intruder tried to enter the bus. However, in our house/apts no one ever walked by the open windows talking about us, sometimes directly to us, sometimes shouting at us, graffitied us, or banged on our walls in the middle of the night. The bus apparently welcomes this behavior. Definitely makes us feel grateful for the amount of security we normally feel; there are an awful lot of people in this world, sadly, who never feel that.
8. The Build - things we did right, things we did wrong. Dang, that’s probably a whole other blog!
9. FOOD!!!!! Yes, my favorite topic. Well, there were some ups…like all the homemade tortillas you can get across country. Delicious! We shared some really great meals with people, had a few campfire dinners that were fun and nostalgic, and worked out a great routine of dips, veggies, cheeses and crackers. I’d like to tell you that we hit a fair number of farmer’s markets all around the country. This was a dream I had in my crazy little brain that was logistically near impossible. Sadly, with our hit or miss power for the fridge (we hadn’t yet purchased a dual propane/electric fridge) and taking things in and out of the cooler in the heat, the easiest thing often became carrying as little food as possible and running into Walmart for supplies whenever we parked there overnight. Now, we were still mostly gluten-free at the time so this was hellish and we just jumped right off of that cart and fell into the fire by the end of the trip. I will say that we were pretty good about not eating out a ton (you wouldn’t believe what I can whip up with a genny running, a propane stove, or even a fully-moving highway salad meal!). And, except for some Dairy Queen stops on realllllly hot days, fast food was something we reserved for when we broke down and had to walk somewhere nearby to occupy the kids.
10. Another big issue for me was the “feeling like an imposition vs. celebrating spontaneous connections” with people. More than once we ended up staying in front of someone’s house and my upbringing gave me such a guilt complex about it that it truly made it less enjoyable (and sometimes downright stressful when I was worried the kids would be too noisy for the neighbors!). My brain is CONSTANTLY worried about offending/pissing people off (believe it or not) and it was a great practice for me to try and let that go, rely on them to be upfront with me about their needs, and enjoy the situation for its positives. It truly is a fine line to walk…but one I found was worth it. (I hope you all thought so too :)
11. SLEEP! The kids slept GREAT in the bus. Truly. Or, at least, that’s how I remember it. (Husband?) They had their own bunks and were close enough to know where we were, but far enough to get space from each other. Occasionally they ended up in our bed by the end of the night for one reason or another, but not as much as at home, I think. And there was definitely still sleepwalking, which we have at home also, but probably there was more of it on the road because we did so much they were totally exhausted (they sleepwalk more when tired). For me, once over the security issue I loved sleeping in the bus. Certainly I had already done it a ton before going on the road. I have my own Queen sized bed in there, a different view out the windows every few days, a metal roof to hear all the rain drops, plenty of screens to have air blow in AND a roof hatch for pre-sleep star gazing!!!! What is not to love?!?!?
12. Lastly, a concept that came back to me was the one of CONCENTRIC CIRCLES. I think it was back in my exchange student days (or maybe just my high school here) where we discussed this idea - where you live in a series of outward rippling concentric circles. The very center circle is you and it radiates out to your family, your community, your state, country, etc until you reach the whole world (or even the whole universe!). If you remain in your tiny little circle, then that is all you know of the world and your view is entirely self-absorbed and motivated. However, as you move into greater and greater circles, your experiences inform a wider perspective of what life is about and what your priorities are. This concept certainly did not get disproven on this trip :)
I suppose that is enough of my blather for now. I’ll see if my husband has anything to add. Feel free to ask questions should anything puzzle you about our crazy adventure. Til then, keep calm and Von Rowdy on!
