I have Internet again and can post a blog or two in the next few days to catch everyone up. Here was the entry as we rolled into May and I'll throw in some random pics from our last weeks at the house:
As I start packing up the bus and preparing, I start to say goodbye. I decided to take an early morning walk today all by myself - a rarity for sure. My first thought is, "Holy crap there are a lot of worms in this world!" The number of worm trails carved out through the mud and how far they travel absolutely astounds me! Who knew there were so many worms just in this one patch of earth alone? Truly. The things we take for granted. And I guess that's mainly what I'm thinking about today - what we take for granted, as well as the paths we choose in life.
I walked through the trees and down the road to a place most serene. It looks like heaven to be at this place and I thought about the people living in the house there surrounded by this vast expanse of beautiful pond and creek water with peace and starlings hanging from cattails, a garden that they are creating, chickens and goats, and the most beautifully manicured house and property I've ever seen. They were clearly still in bed because not a sound was to be heard from within the house. I envied their peaceful and serene life hidden here down deep in the countryside with rolling hills hat-brim level, trees galore, frogs and fish to toy with and lush grass as far as kids could run. I wonder if they know that they are living within a dream.
I watched two beautiful Canada geese standing on top of a thatched beaver dam in the middle of the water. They stared at me for a while and then they decided to pack up and move to water on the other side of the house. As they flew over onto that side they made such a fuss that I thought of the people lying in bed wishing the geese wouldn't frequent them so early in the morning, wishing the geese wouldn't be so noisy. At this point the geese alerted the dog in the house to my presence and the dog began to bark wildly. I felt bad for being the thing on their Saturday morning that caused them stress, waking them up when perhaps they wanted to sleep just a little later that day. I thought of them lying in bed, their thoughts a ticker-tape parade to do list on a Saturday morning in May when there was garden work to be done, animals to take care of, a house to fix up, kids to pay attention to. Suddenly their peaceful, serene life didn't seem so peaceful and serene anymore!
And then I remember, that I too am living within a dream. We all are. It's the voice in our head that keeps us from realizing it - that constant chatter that doesn't allow us to look up and take stock in what we actually have instead of what we wish we had or what is stressing us out at that particular moment. And I also remember that this was one of the reasons for the bus. Gratitude and not taking things for granted. It is difficult to take something for granted that remains in your hand but for a few heartbeats.
I will never take this house that I have lived in and this property I have grown a part of for granted. We will never take our time in Clarksville or Delmar or Brunswick or Yellowstone or Vancouver or Ventura, Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, any of the places that we have been, the people we have been fortunate to spend time with, for granted. And even as I say this, even as I write this, I wonder if it is true. I suppose the day will come when even change and travel and the people we meet and love and gratitude will somehow be taken for granted. And maybe that's when we settle down, sink our teeth permanently into the ground where we stand and appreciate whatever we have, wherever we have it.
I reach in my pocket and find a squashed penny from the redwoods and it winks at me. I guess it's too soon to tell :-)
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